Leaving nothing unexplored

Babble #2

I’m sorry.  There probably isn’t really going to be much of a point to this post.  Probably not much in the way of pictures either.  I’m just exhausted from riding too many hours at the squad lately on top of stressing over work and my personal life and sleeping ohsoverylittle (I roll my eyes at people that whine “I’m so tired… I only slept 6 hours last night.” Uhm, that’s a *good* night for me. Shaddupalready)… I just kind of need to, well, babble.

I know that my main goal for this blog is to find a direction for my life. Yeah, I want to try doing a day (or several days…or a week) of my “eats.”  Yeah, I want to document important events in my life, like vacations or get-togethers with friends.  Yeah, I want to see what this blogging world is about. But I guess I want to make my life more interesting, less boring, and so I must go out and find stuff to blog about, I guess?  Because really, who wants to read about my day-to-day life… it’s pretty boring.  For example, this is how today would go:

My alarm went off at 05:55.  I glared at it, hit snooze.  It went off again in 9 minutes.  I didn’t even open my eyes this time, just kept tapping a finger on the screen and hoped I would eventually find the snooze icon (I love my iPhone, but it was waaaay easier to snooze with my Blackberry).  Repeat this process several more times.  Finally get up around 06:45.  Stand up, fall over.  Stand back up, open the blinds.  Stumble out of my bedroom, feed Toffee.  Keep her from attacking my foot, stick her back in her cage.  Go into the bathroom, squint against the bright lights, pee.  Continue turning on lights, trying so hard to wake up, and quickly.  Defrost some frozen berries in the microwave.  Start putting together a lunch, gathering my purse and lunchbag and books and ID tag and everything else I need for work.  Take bowl out of microwave, add cinnamon, chia seeds, raw oats, a few walnuts, vanilla chobani.  Mix.  Take a few bites while browsing Facebook and blogs.  Take probiotic.  Finish breakfast.  Get cleaned up for work, decide on an outfit (black dress pants, lilac sweater, black heels).  Decide against changing earrings.  Straighten hair.  Start gathering bags to head out the door.  Feel heart ache from watching Toffee run around her cage because she wants attention and she wants to PLAY and I have to go to work.

Walk slowly down the two flights of steps, trying to balance on 3 inch heels with oddly sore leg muscles.  Get in car, drive to work amid traffic.  Curse myself for not getting out of bed earlier, allowing myself to leave earlier and thereby missing all of this traffic.  Pull into the parking lot at work.  Go inside, drop stuff off in locker.  Walk into the lab, still feeling sleepy.  Note the lazy people still sitting at the walk-ups.  Try to figure out what runs I’m supposed to do today.  Pull samples and blocked plates from freezers, burn fingers (thank you, -80C).  Start thawing while labeling tubes.  Set up runs as quickly as possible, noting hatred stemming from coworkers.  Wonder what I did to piss them off, especially as I wasn’t at work yesterday.

Start incubations, catch up on paperwork.  Take my “break” and go to Target during an incubation.  Find coconut caramel chocolate Keebler cookies, realize they look like Girl Scout Samoas, realize you want need Samoas.  Buy.  Proceed to eat the entire package today. (sigh – fatass).  Eat actual lunch (spaghetti squash with tomato sauce and mozzarella, dried apricots) outside while reading. (uber fatass).

Take down runs.  Calculate – both pass.  Label tubes for tomorrow.  Talk to coworker, try to find out why it seems that EVERYONE is peeved with you.  Decide it must just be me being paranoid.  Go home. Start getting dinner together as you seem to be starving again/still.  Cook brown rice in chicken boullion.  Cook chicken on Georgie.  Cut up chicken, mix into rice with spinach, celery, onion, tomato sauce, and seasonings.  Spoon into prepared red peppers, steam in microwave instead of bake in oven because you don’t want to wait.  Eat remaining rice mixture that didn’t fit for dinner.  Feed Toffee.  Do a load of laundry.  Workout while watching Home Improvement from Netflix (kickboxing, light walking, full body strength training, stretch).

Text station 2 crew, find out they want you to come in earlier.  Change clothes, gather boots and stethoscope.  Go to station.  Know that if a call comes out, you have to go POV because they felt they needed the ambulance AND the QRV at dinner for 4 people.  Get scared to death by the tones going off.  Thank your lucky stars that the call is at a business and not a residence, because you already know how to get there.  Speed (waaay too fast) down the road to meet the crew.  Jump in the back of the ambulance, hand car keys to the departing medic.  Take patient to ER, wait way too long for a room, constantly sneak peeks at the monitor and hope you won’t regret not starting an IV en route.

Clear from the call.  Go back to the station. Kill time as best you can, because you know it’s a slow area.  Sit with your throbbing head, eyes not quite focusing, wondering if you will get to sleep tonight.  Uncomfortably wish you hadn’t binged on those damn cookies, as your stomach is now way bloated and gassy.  Wish the fellow crew member would stop watching American Idol so that you can go to sleep.  Type way too long and way stupid blog post that no one is likely to read but you just want to type…

Okay, not a totally typical day.  But such is my life.  B O R I N G.  And gross.  Sorry if TMI.  I feel so needy.  It doesn’t even matter if no one reads this.  It kind of helps just to get my thoughts out of my head for right now.

I need… to find a new job.

I need… to stop binging.

I need… to lose serious weight.  Like, 35 pounds.  To start with.

I need… to study more seriously for my critical care paramedic/flight paramedic exams.

I need… to stop treating my friends so horribly.

I need… to pay off my credit card debt.

I need… to go clothes shopping.

I need… to have a real vacation and have some fun.

I need… to sleep.

Good night.


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